Thursday, June 25, 2009

New threat: North Korea threatens to destroy entire universe.

The North Korean regime has issued its latest daily threat - today threatening to destroy the "entire universe" if it does not get what it wants. In a statement issued by the official North Korean news agency, the regime said:

"With one crushing blow, we will crush the enemies of our people and crush to shreds and dust the entire universe. We will deal a fatal blow and cast like flies to the wind the parasites who gnaw at the flesh of our great Republic. Our mighty clenched fist will hammer with a mighty thud and squash like rats all who oppose us. Be warned that today is the day when the entire universe will weep and marvel at our huge power, thrust onto the Earth like an untamed lion roaring at its feeble prey! Our claws will rip apart the savages; our might will have the world trembling; our power will unleash a huge force of power like none the world has ever known. PS can we have some food, please (and some new DVDs for the Great One - you know, the guy that pretends he was born on some magical hill instead of in Khabarovsk in the Soviet Union? He really is great fun once you get to know him)?"

In a separate statement, the regime boasted that it had made use of one of it's most renowned poets to write the "potent" phrases.

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