Friday, May 29, 2009

David Hide Pierce?

Frasier star David Hyde Pierce faced tough questions during an appearance Thursday on the US talk show "The View" for allegedly trying to cover-up the fact that he had a piercing in his belly-button. "I won't show it," said Pierce "I, David, am not trying to hide my piercing, but it is my business and that is how it will remain."

Pressure grows on MSNBC to accept two-state solution.

US cable news channel MSNBC in under mounting pressure to accept the so-called "two-state solution" to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Thus far, the station has pursued a policy designed to dodge or ignore the matter. In line with that policy, hosts such as Keith Olbermann (of Countdown) or Rachel Maddow (of the Rachel Maddow Show) feature no stories whatsoever on the subject - Thursday's meeting between President Obama and Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas was the latest example of the coverage blackout, designed to deflect attention away from the "two-state solution" and instead re-direct attention towards pre-approved topics such as GOP-bashing or Dick Cheney.

Countdown host Keith Olbermann appeared pensive on the subject when asked to comment, stating "I just can't talk about that." However, when pressed, he added "Yesterday, we had to accomodate the 'natural growth' of the Sonia Sotomayor story, and leave lots of space in case Eric Cantor said something silly, so that is maybe why that subject got bumped."

UPDATE: MSNBC has started to cover the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in more depth.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Celebrity feud: Evigan slams Frakes - "I should have been Riker."

The long-standing feud between "My Two Dads" star Greg Evigan and Star Trek actor Jonathan Frakes took another twist today as Evigan lambasted Frakes' acting abilities, even claiming that the actor had stolen a role meant for him. "I should have been Riker," said Evigan, referencing the character of Commander William Riker, portrayed by rival beard-wearer Jonathan Frakes in the series Star Trek: The Next Generation.

In an interview with Newsifact, Evigan lambasted Frakes, claiming "He only grew that beard after he saw mine. He became Riker, but I was Riker! There was this jealousy from him ever since he came to Hollywood. It is almost as if he was threatened by me, so he decided to solve that by becoming me and stealing the role of Riker, which I believed I was destined for." Evigan also insisted that he would have made a far better Riker, stating "When you look at what he did with that role - the way he wasted that beard - it makes me sick. If I had played Riker, that series would be regarded as a classic today."

When asked for a response, actor Jonathan Frakes dismissed the accusations, "That is typical Evigan - blame my beard instead of his own."

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Universal Studios dismisses fan outrage over Segal Columbo movie.

Universal Studios have been on the defensive after the release of their latest film "Columbo" based on the iconic 1970s detective series that starred Peter Falk. Critics have labelled the film "a travesty" and "pathetic" whilst Columbo fans have decried what they view as "stunningly patronising and childish" changes to the format. Indeed, those changes have been quite pronounced - the non-violent, non-gun-using, intelligent one-on-one verbal sparring of the 1970s series has been replaced with action, explosions, guns and lots of women for the detective. In one scene, Segal, in bed with a young woman even says "Have you ever seen my wife? Exactly, baby!"

Steven Segal in "Columbo" (2009)

However, Universal Pictures have defended the film, declaring in an official statement that "The original format was dated and not conducive to the demands of a modern-day young audience. Certain changes were made to bring the iconic detective up-to-date. We are convinced that audiences will embrace Steven Segal's wonderful take on Columbo." In other words, audiences appear to be far stupider today, or at least the studios think they are.

Shouldn't David Cameron be bald?

After years of his party being in exile, the leader of the British Conservative Party David Cameron no doubt wants to be seen as the young, new face of change. But for some reason, he just looks like he should be bald (or will be - or is fighting against it with expensive lotions). Would people then suddenly see the archetypal bald, white, Eton-educated, posh Tory and not vote for him? Just a thought.

Al Gore warns Amy Winehouse of dangerous tipping point.

Former US vice-president Al Gore has warned troubled singer Amy Winehouse that she is about to reach a dangerous tipping point. "It won't be long now before she starts to look worse than Elizabeth Taylor, and she is 77 years-old! Winehouse still has time to turn things around, but she must act soon."

A representative for the singer dismissed the claims stating that "Alcohol, cigarettes and pills have and will continue to sucessfully fuel Amy in the future. There is no reason to change that; we have our own doctors, and they agree that the evidence about Ms Winehouse's health isn't conclusive."

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Loch Ness monster or the L.A. metro system? Which have you seen or heard of more often?

A: Loch Ness.

B: The Los Angeles county Metro Rail.

Be honest.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

George Lucas infuriates Star Wars fans with "my ass" original version of Star Wars.

George Lucas has again infuriated Star Wars fans with new Blu-Ray releases of the original, non-enhanced versions of Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. For years, fans have lobbied Lucas to release a high-quality version of his original trilogy, instead of the controversially altered versions released in 1997. However, excited fans expecting to finally see their much-campaigned-for releases have been outraged to find that the new discs contain a huge image of George Lucas's ass superimposed over the film.

Lucas has defended the decision, saying "I feel that the choice was a correct way to show my appreciation to the fans."

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Iran's President Ahmadinejad uses Bush playbook for re-election campaign.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, May 2009: "If you retreat, they attack; if you attack they retreat."

Source - BBC

George W. Bush, January 2006: "There is no peace in retreat. And there is no honor in retreat."

Source - ABC

Hill of beans has low self-esteem.

"Just not sure I will ever amount to much..."

Friday, May 22, 2009

Futurama has been renewed!

According to C21 media Fox has indeed renewed Futurama. The author of the article has confirmed that "The studio is making more episodes for DVD sales."

UPDATE II: We got the scoop, now here is the official announcement from Comedy Central. Previous rumours were wrong, it is in fact a full 26 episode season that has been ordered.

UPDATE: You read it here first, now further confirmation from Collider that 13 new episodes have been ordered by Comedy Central. More here .

Occasionally we stray beyond made up satire!

The last Republican: Some crazy guy having a crazy conversation with himself.

From the GOP's official website. A user named "D" apparently condemned to engaging in a very, very long conversation with himself (seems like he's the last one left) about ACORN, Obama's birth certificate, Glenn Beck's great reporting etc...Somebody please help this guy; offer him a meal or something!!

Etc, etc, there really is a LOT more!

New study: Drugs affect the kind of graphs made by scientists.




Thursday, May 21, 2009

Gitmo detainee on the loose...

Cheney is the new Allen Dulles.

The last powerful guy that hated a president this much. Allen Dulles was the head of the CIA under JFK. He and his deputy Charles Cabbell were fired by Kennedy after the Bay of Pigs incident. Then Cabbell's brother as mayor of Dallas got that motorcade route know the rest.

Not this time, you evil f**kers!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Iranian leader calls election opponent "flip-flopper."

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has labelled his opponent Johan Kerrij a flip-flopper as the upccoming Iranian presidential elections intensify ahead of the June 12th vote. Ahmadinejad, though popular with conservatives, is loathed by more progressive elements within his country. His recent sabre-rattling on the global front is viewed as a means to keep the electorate focused on national security issues, where he is viewed as a "strong leader" by many Iranians, still edgy from the US invasion of neighbouring Iraq. The Iranian president is often described by detractors as an intellectual lightweight, unable to view the complexities of the world beyond a black-and-white prism, but he has managed to use this to his advantage presenting a common "folksy" touch and portraying opponent Kerrij as an elitist and flip-flopper.

Surely the Iranians won't re-elect this guy? I mean who would fall for something that transparently stupid?

Crazed Madonna ups ante in adoption fight.

"I still don't want her to be my new mummy."

Israeli settlers use Josef Fritzl argument - the rape will stop once you learn to behave yourselves.

From Washington Post article: "Israeli Settlers Reject Obama's Call to Halt Building"

From Wikipedia's Josef Fritzl Case "Fritzl decided to imprison Elisabeth after she 'Did not adhere to any rules any more' when she became a teenager. 'That is why I had to do something; I had to create a place where I could keep Elisabeth, by force if necessary, away from the outside world.'"

Scientology lawyers finally clear Newsifact's much-delayed satirical Tom Cruise article for publication.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Newsifact's bottom ten list of Empire Magazine top 10s/100s.

1. The top 100 movies of all time (seventh time).

2. The top 20 movies of all time (third time).

3. The top 10 summer movies (second time).

4. The top ten moments in movies (so far only twice).

5. The all time top 100 movies (fourth time, second time to use phrase "all time").

6. Our definitive Empire list of the best 100 films ever (fourteenth time, third to use phrase "definitive.")

7. The biggest blockbusters of all time (third time).

8. The biggest, craziest movies - the final top 200 (first time ever).

9. The top ten number one films of all time (sleight of hand with unclear use of "number one movies" so we rate this as the thirty-second time).

10. The ten best movies to watch with your friends (third time, though if counted with other lists, the four-hundred and seventh time).

Monday, May 18, 2009

Obama absolves Bush in controversial ceremony.

President Barack Obama performed a controversial ceremony yesterday at Notre Dame University in Indiana, designed to absolve former president George W. Bush of the sins he commited during his presidency. The ceremony took place amidst howls of protest from a small core of demonstrators, who objected to the fact that the 44th president was formally forgiving his predecessor. Obama, in a speech preceding the ceremony adressed the concerns, saying: "Each side will continue to make its case to the public with passion and conviction. But surely we can do so without reducing those with differing views to caricature. Open hearts. Open minds. Fair-minded words."

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Carbon Cap.

Quite brittle to wear...

Mike Young gets testy with Newsifact.

Recently, Newsifact interviewed "Neighbours'" Mike Young (or "Guy Pearce" as he likes to be called - you know what these people are like!). Anyway, the interview didn't go too well.

Newsifact: Mike Young from "Neighbours" it is a real honour to have you here with us.

MY: My name is Guy Pearce.

Newsifact: Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. What is that? Some new publicity thing, like when Prince became a symbol?

MY: No, it is my name!

Newsifact: Of course it is! (laughter). Let's get to the questions. It has been a few years since you, Mike left Ramsay Street.

Mike abandoned Des after he lost wife Daphne.

MY: Yes, I left "Neighbours" twenty years ago - it was back in 1989. I don't really think about that much since I have been very busy as an actor since.

Newsifact: Yes, so let's take a look at where the character of Mike has gone since then.

MY: He didn't go anywhere. That was it for that character.

Newsifact: Well, that wasn't it. Because officially you left to look after your mother who had been hurt in a plane crash. So what happened?

Did Mike even know that Helen had died?

MY: I honestly can't remember. Mike wasn't really that great a character to play.

Newsifact: Well, that is very sad. But even before you had left Ramsay Street, you made an appearance in Home & Away. Why?

MY: The money. I don't know. These are stupid questions.

Mike in happier times.

Newsifact: Was it not really a stab in the back at Madge and Helen, who had been so kind to you?

MY: What?

Newsifact: And soon after, you appeared in "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert." Was that a cry for help? I mean, what did it say about Mike to suddenly be hanging around with a bunch of transsexuals? How would that have made poor Daphne feel?

MY: It was a movie. It wasn't Mike - it was me as an actor!

Newsifact: Wasn't Mike? Come on, Mike. You used to be so masculine with that motorbike. Was this film an attempt to blame Des for Daphne's death? Were you not in fact dressing up as Daphne to torment Des?

In 1999, Mike Young starred in "A Slipping-Down Life" - a subtle dig at Madge?

MY: My name is Guy Pearce. I am an actor. That was a film role.

Newsifact: (Laughter) Of course! Then you decided to take Mike Young into 1930s Los Angeles in "L.A. Confidential". So I suppose Mike was a time traveller now?

MY: Is this a serious interview? I am not Mike!!!

Newsifact: Was this film not a way for Mike to symbolically break with the painful past of your breakup with Lucy Robinson? Were you not travelling back in time to escape the pain?

MY: It was a film role. It had nothing to do with "Neighbours".

Newsifact: What really impressed me was 2000's "Memento". In a way, it seemed that Mike had come full circle. He was no longer running away from Ramsay Street, but instead seeking an emotional memento of his times with Harold and Madge. Very moving!

MY: If you don't ask me, respected actor Guy Pearce, a serious question, this interview is over.

Mike Young today. What would Helen Daniels say?

Newsifact: But all that progress seemed to have been be lost in two films you, Mike Young, made in 2008. One was called "Trust" and the other was called "The Hurt Locker". So it seems that for Mike, the pain of the breakup with Jane was an emotional scar that didn't really go away. Or was it a reaction to the death of Helen Daniels. Did you feel ashamed that you had missed it, Mike? And did you want to hide in a hurt locker?

MY: Why are you calling me Mike? My name is Guy Pearce. Do you understand? "Neighbours" was something I did for two years twenty years ago and now I am a serious, respected actor.

Newsifact: Mike...Mike...sshhh. It is OK. Mummy's coming. Des forgives you for leaving him alone after Daphne died. Madge forgives you for not being there when she died too. It is OK. Why didn't you at least call when you heard that Charlene had breast cancer?

MY: Fuck off!

At this point, Mike stormed off (maybe back to Ramsay Street?) and the interview ended.