Monday, September 29, 2008

David Blaine stunt ends in near tragedy.




A stunt by magician David Blaine ended in near tragedy yesterday, after ambulances were called the performer's home. The stunt involved Mr Blaine attempting to "sit at home quietly for a week and not act like a dick." Unfortunately for Mr Blaine, only one day into the experiment the performer began to display signs of a deep psychosis and the whole scenario ended up with an ambulance rescuing Mr Blaine from his home after a frantic 911 call. Here is an excerpt the text released today by the emergency services:


"I'm Shrolah, king of the wallpaper men. This room is a channel - a living conduit. The risks we all take...Shatner, he never knew and never will. But had I gone too far, even for me?"


"Please state the nature of your emergency."

"Emergency, like emerging. I had crossed the fragile boundary between life and death."

"Sir, are you injured?"

"Injury, the last channel of psychic metaburbulation. No man since the Aztecs has known the barrier that man is not meant to cross. But here I was, crossing it. Making toast and tea, yet doing so much more. I was channeling my inner fears. The remote control had become a symbol of my own death; the fragile mortal state that carves the barrier between the inner life force and the darkness buried deep beneath the inner levels of the outer soul. There was no going back. I had committed to the ultimate challenge."


Mr Blaine's current whereabouts are unknown, though one source suggested that he has been committed to a psychiatric ward.

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