Monday, July 20, 2009

Netanyahu reportedly going through two boxes of stress relievers a day...

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is going through a least two boxes of squishy stress relieving toys a day, according to several inside sources. "Those few settlements in the West Bank and Jerusalem that he has managed to slip by the US administration just aren't enough and it is leaving him seriously frustrated," said one source "We realized that he needs an outlet for his passions so we got him some stress relievers hoping that that would do the trick, but he is just grabbing them and destroying them within seconds."

The source also stated that extremely violent video games will be used as a back-up measure if the current plans don't work. However, serious concerns remain "The guy needs a war or a line of bulldozers doing some mass demolitions - something big soon or I just don't know what he is going to do. When this is all you've ever known your whole life, you're going to have a real hard time adjusting to anything less; we keep whispering 'natural growth' in his ears over and over again, but that only calms him temporarily."

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