In this massive Newsifact exclusive, we can confirm the rumors that President Obama has been keeping an alternate birth certificate from the public. The document in question was located after an exhaustive Newsifact investigation in Hawaii.
After pursuing numerous leads and speaking to dozens of sources, we were, somewhat surprisingly, directed to "The Honolulu Star Trek Fan Club." There, the long-time head of the organization produced for us a copy of a "United Federation of Planets birth certificate" sent to young Barry Obama in 1971 when he was just ten years old.
The head of the club, Allen Sanwick, confirmed that "That kid was a huge Star Trek fan. What with his dad out of his life and his mother remaining in Indonesia [where Barack had moved with his mother from ages 6-10; his mother then sent him home and remained there in her job for another year], I think the kid enjoyed the escape offered by Star Trek."
Sanwick explained the application procedure: "He wrote to us and applied for membership, and that included a free United Federation of Planets 'birth certificate' - actually a membership certificate - for every member. Maybe that's what these crazy 'birthers' have been talking about all this time..."
Sanwick (center left) today.
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