Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Ray Mears banned from Brazil for gorging on wild food.




British survival expert and BBC television presenter Ray Mears has been thrown out of Brazil, following an incident that allegedly occurred deep inside the country's vast Amazon rainforest. According to a statement released by the Brazilian government, Mr Mears "Was found to have repeatedly gorged on wild food items in protected reservations, leading to a dangerous decimation of the local environment."

Mears, whom critics have noted is somewhat obese for a person who spends much of his time in the wild, has denied the charges. In a statement issued by the BBC, Mears noted "As an iconic living legend with no peers, it is difficult to bring my survival skills to the world. But my knowledge, my expertise, my passion, my greatness, my legendary status and my massive abilities are a gift that only I have. I utterly reject the accusations levelled at me by the Brazilian government."


Mears also accused the Brazilian government of inventing the accusations because they were jealous of his vast skills, noting "I went to the Amazon to teach the natives there my extraordinary and great skills. For that I should be applauded as a living legend and an icon. Instead the Brazilian government invents this false charge. My weight comes not from my travels, but from my binge-eating when I return to my native England and I only binge eat because people don't seem to understand how great I am. They even tell me that I have an ego problem and that I am not very likeable. Can you believe that?"

7 comments:

  1. dude, what? Ray Mears is a legend. He has no ego problem and he respects the cultures he travels to and learns FROM them without imposing his corrupt western ways that you now utilise so banally to insult him. For shame. His belly is large and rotund simply because it is where he stores his winter supply of jolly charisma and a perpetual love of live and the land. Maybe it's about time you watched and learned. Not an easy target my friend. How about go take the piss out of Bear Grylls instead, he's more fake than a bad boob job, and has just as much survival instincts.
    look forwards to your next insightful post you heinous fiend.
    out.

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  2. Ray Mears is a bit of a dick. Les Hiddins, Bush Tucker Man - he's the real deal.

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  3. Another two minutes of my life that I'll never get back. Whoever wrote this: burn in hell.

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  4. This is utter garbage; nothing more than the writings of an envious, lackluster, armchair survival hasbeen/neverwas. This blogger should be on the street selling pencils ...from a cup!

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  5. That is so not true....

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  6. Absolutely ridiculous, anyone who has ever watched any of Ray's programmes could pick apart the falsification in this. Even the supposed 'quotes' sound ridiculous, and clearly not Ray's. The fact that it has a photo with 'spare tyre' written on it, clearly done on microsoft paint, highlights this. What a feeble life they must lead

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  7. STFU ray mears fanboys, the guys clearly a dick. Fair enough he can survive etc but tbh you get double the amount of info from John Wiseman so whats the point in watching his shows. He calls bear grylls a showman ya I bet grylls was just showing of when he climed everest and completed 26 sas challenges. Takes some balls to do what bear grylls does same with Ray Mears but atleast Grylls isn't so arrogant so dismiss what mears does as showmanship.

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