Saturday, February 21, 2009

If today's Republicans had been around at key points in human civilization...

By around 46BC, the Romans had sewage systems to drain waste from homes. In the 19th century major cities undertook projects to create sewage systems for most homes.

Republicans: "Can you believe this? The government is actually going to spend money on connecting each home to a series of pipes just to take away human waste! Let's just have some tax cuts and keep the government out of people's homes!"

Also in the 19th century, cities begin to develop water supply infrastructures, which also hark back to Roman times...

Republicans: "Leave the market to meet supply and demand. Why waste money on a crazy system of pipes when the wells we have are full and aren't ever going to run out. Let those who can afford such systems pay for them, and the rest can trickle down to everyone else."

The late 18th century - the idea of the steam locomotive starts to lead to the creation of a railway transport infrastructure.

Republicans: "Are we really going to waste money on some pie-in-the-sky scheme to connect far off places by building miles and miles of railway lines? Let's just have some tax cuts and stick to horses!"

The notion of an education system for children and older students has existed since around 1500BC, perhaps earlier...

Republicans: "You want to take away my child for hours each day to be indoctrinated and controlled by government forces - and you want my tax dollars to pay for it? Then you've got a serious fight on your hands, mister! Tax cuts would allow families to spend more on educating their own children."

In 1881, the world's first electricity distribution system was established in Godalming, England when a generator supplied power to street lights. In the ensuing decades electricity grids spread throughout the world.

Republicans: "Am I hearing this right? You want to waste my money on some crazy scheme to connect each and every home with copper wires? Sounds like a communist mind-control plot. Count me out. Tax cuts would be far better."

In the early 19th century, the invention of the electrical telegraph spurs the eventual invention of the telephone.

Republicans: "You want what?! A system of cables so that the government can listen to me in my home. You've got a fight on your hands, mister. Now let's quit this crazy talk and pour ourselves a nice round of tax cuts instead."

Trails lead to paths and they lead to roads. In 1956, Republican president Dwight D. Eisenhower appropriates $25 billion for the construction of highways in the US. A similar boom takes place across much of the developed world folowing the success of the automobile.

Republicans: "$25 billion!?!?! Are you crazy? My taxpayer money is being spent on concrete? Are we living in communist Russia? Tax cuts would build far more..."

Today: Ideas for new grids to transport green energy; new kinds of green energy; electric cars that could be recharged just by plugging them in to your power socket at home...

Republicans: "No, no, no, no, NO!!!! This is socialism! I want a f***ing TAX CUT!!!"

It just would have been the same thing all over again...

Baroque Obama... "Yes, we can!"

And Earl Limbaugh... "No, we shouldn't!"


  1. Just thought I'd point out that they are still making the argument against education down here in Texas.

  2. And GOP'ers wonder why they are becoming the party of a few counties dotted here and there across the deep south.

  3. In 1936 the United States Government agreed to coordinate the Air Traffic Control System which built a series of radar stations and employees operators to keep airlines traveling upwards of 400 mph from colliding with each other.

    republican'ts: we don't need to waste no goberment money on some radar towers and people on the gobernment dole, those pilots can just learn to fly better and if they have an accident the insurance company are willing to pay for the damage.

  4. Oh yea I forgot;

    Tax cuts would be far better then wasting money like this.

  5. Good stuff! The thing is, they could be sold on locomotives as soon as they knew they caused pollution. If that didn't do the trick on its own, they'd support them if they knew the pollution pissed off liberals. Most conservative policies - and almost every instance of conservative "humor" is judged as a success if it pisses off liberals.

  6. The GOP hate the U.S. Government, the U.S. Media, Hollywood, U.S. cities, and liberals, but they love America?! ...and tax cuts? Who prints the Money?!