Sunday, June 1, 2008

Brits celebrate last day before stabbing is outlawed on London's public transport.

Thousands of Brits travelled to London from all across the country to celebrate the last day in which it will be legally acceptable to stab someone with a knife on public transport. New Mayor Boris Johnston has decided to outlaw the practice, due to what he claims is the high cost of removing blood from trains and buses after each working day.

In typically British fashion, thousands of Londoners, joined by busloads of Brits from across the country, decided to celebrate the last day of legal stabbings in style. London Underground reported at least 320,450 severe knife wounds, with more than 10,000 deaths. Metropolitan Police chief Sir Ian Blair conceded that the police were unprepeared for these kind of numbers. Several London Underground stations even had to be closed for several hours due to severe overcrowding.

One 18-year-old eyewitness at Euston station said "I went in there with four knives I bought specially for the occasion...I got well out of it after a while - I managed to stab eight people and get stabbed myself twice!" However, some critics have worried that the ban may simply lead to stabbings being shifted to another location - "It's just part of our culture and the ban isn't going to change that," noted one participant recovering from the carnage at St. Thomas's Hospital, London.

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