BP logo - strangely appropriate in light of spill.

PICTURES: Thailand begins brutal crackdown of redshirts.

Thai government will not tolerate Star Trek fans portraying insignificant disposable characters. Story here.

Cameron warns Lib Dem votes could cause Saddam Hussein to come back from dead.

"It might happen!" warns Cameron.

Murdoch press reacts: The Sun leads with "Brave Dave Warns of Barmy Lib Dem/ Saddam Plot"; Sky News devotes four hours of coverage to whether David Cameron is "brave or very brave", while The Times goes with "Lib Dem Victory Could Lead to Saddam WMDs Targeting Weakened Britain".

Stephen Hawking sends Gordon Brown an accusatory picture of himself looking both disappointed and angry.

"What have you done, Gordon?" - "Brown's Britain" 2010.

Renowned physicist Stephen Hawking has had a special photographic portrait made of himself in which, looking directly into camera in an accusatory manner, his expression reveals both anger, bitterness and disappointment. The work, entitled "Brown's Britain" was delivered by courier to Number 10 Downing Street, the official residence of the UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown, on Monday morning.


According to art critic Brian Sewell, the image is "utterly devastating; Hawking's expression captures both the disappointments and resentments that have been swelling in Brown's Britain for years. We deserved better, and Hawking isn't shy about letting Brown know the current feelings of the nation...truly magnificent!"

"I hope he gets the message," said Hawking in a statement released early Monday morning, adding "I think that my disapproving expression should give Prime Minister Brown some serious pause for thought as to where he is taking Britain." Number 10 has thus far declined to comment on the matter.

Republican senator who looks like a tortoise keeps trying to slow down reform legislation.

Senator Mitch McConnell (R) is trying to kill financial reform by slowing down the process - story here.

Brown to send top emissaries to grieving Poland.

UK PM Gordon Brown has revealed that he is sending former footballer Jimmy Greaves to Poland to "help the country's people with their terrible loss".


Also en route to Poland is former Monty Python star Michael Palin; his presenting duties in the documentary TV series Pole to Pole are believed to have motivated Brown to add him to the list of special emissaries heading to the region. "It's a symbol of solidarity," said Brown "Poland can now grieve with Greaves, while Michael Palin will underline the sense of pain felt from Pole to Pole.

The Pope Must Die - a DVD release opportunity?

The Pope Must Die is still not available on DVD. Could this be the perfect time to release it?

Pope does a "Fritzl".

Two propaganda outlets censor Obama.

TERROR CLAMPDOWN LATEST: Moviegoers to face screenings.

...of movies!

Republican hillbilly caller learns about karma - the hard way.

Very funny!

At Copenhagen summit, China emboldened by Joe Lieberman.

"60 votes? Hah! Your country doesn't have democracy either!" the Chinese PM tells President Obama.

'Danish Prime Minister Lars Rasmussen opened the gathering [at the last day of the Copenhagen climate change summit], saying that it is "not too often us leaders get a chance to chart out a new course for our planet." No such course was forthcoming. Minutes later, Chinese Premier Wen Jibao hailed his own nation's efforts to curb greenhouse gas emissions. But he offered no give on the key matters that had been raised by the United States: China placing its emissions reductions within a binding treaty and subjecting them to outside verification. Wen indicated that China would keep its emissions limits voluntary and unilateral.'

Sourced here.

BREAKING: Dirk "Face" Benedict throws glass of punch at Italian PM.

More updates as we get them...

Tiger Woods' latest controversy: Once accidentally got golf and women the wrong way round.

He screwed a golf course...

And "It was a little painful, but pleasant too..." said one woman involved in the mix-up.

Huge "coincidence": Massive explosion in Iraq a day after political unrest in Iran.

"Quick, set off another bomb in Iraq so people don't focus on the shit we're doing to our own people!"

Saudis blame "warm polar bear" for melting sea-ice.

"This [above] picture proves it!" said Saudi oil minister Ali al-Naimi on Monday, adding "If those bears didn't warm up the ice by sitting on it, we'd be fine right now."

Recession means terrorists trying to get the most bang for the buck.

We report that Avatar is good, you still decide it's shit!

It's begun: Rupert Murdoch paper plugging shit and very expensive film made by Rupert Murdoch studio.

Picture sparks fresh concerns as "Blair can't even take a dump without being strangely self-conscious".

There are fresh concerns over the mental health of Tony Blair following the release of a picture of the former British Prime Minister sitting on a toilet. The picture was taken during a break from the recent negotiations in Brussels over the post of President of the European Council - a post which Blair ultimately lost to Belgian PM Herman Van Rompuy.

The person who took the picture has decided to remain anonymous, but insists that he took the photograph out of a concern for Mr Blair's mental state: "I went to the bathroom and heard a person apparently talking to themselves in one of the cabins," said the source "It was very strange. He was mumbling things like 'This will be a people's turd...I...you know...want you all to...you know...understand...I cannot appease this turd any longer...it will stand turd to turd with all the turds and be a great turd...history will judge.' So I decided to force the door open to see what was going on and ended up taking a picture of Tony Blair on the toilet. And the weirdest thing was, that he was reading all of these things from a piece of paper, like he couldn't even take a s*#t anymore without convincing himself of his own historical greatness. The guy is clearly in denial."

The source for the photograph also added that he hopes the picture's publication will help rather than harm Blair "I mean, if this guy is self-conscious even while taking a dump in private, then maybe he needs some help. I hope my picture helps to move this process forward."

Meanwhile, Palestinians have been continuing their month-long celebrations following the failure of Mr Blair to win the EU presidency. "That means he will remain as a Middle-East peace envoy!" said one Palestinian in Ramallah "And this brings great joy and hope to all of us. He really is the man to get things done!"

Frank Bough: Tiger Woods has gone too far.

Frank Bough, the seemingly wholesome BBC TV presenter who faced scandal in 1992 after it was revealed that he regularly visited sado-masochistic drug-fuelled orgies has hit out at golfer Tiger Woods. In a statement released to the media on Friday, Bough called on Woods to come clean regarding revelations that he was a serial adulterer: "Enough is enough. These sorded details are coming out drip by drip and it has to stop. He has gone too far and now he should come clean and face the music."

Lieberman: No-one will "connect the dots" about my lucrative post-Senate-career.

Senator Joe Lieberman (I- Connecticut) has dismissed reports that he has reached a secret agreement with medical insurance interests to oppose healthcare reform - one that promises Lieberman a very lucrative post-Senate career. "By the time my post-Senate-career begins, this current healthcare debate will be long over. No-one is going to care, frankly, about trying to connect the dots when they aren't there," said Lieberman at a press conference yesterday.


However, when pressed on the matter of whether he was opposing the so-called "public-option" favored by most Democrats for financial reasons, and in particular because he had been offered a multi-million dollar private-sector job in return, Lieberman remained coy: "Like I said, no-one will care by then what I do and frankly that is my own business. I don't rule out anything. Right now I am a Senator."


Lieberman, a former Democrat and vice-presidential candidate (on the Gore-Lieberman ticket in 2000) maintains a position in the Senate Democratic Caucus despite having left the party and endorsed Republican John McCain in the last presidential election. President Obama is believed to have personally lobbied to stop Democrats from stripping Lieberman of his current chairmanship of the Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs in light of the above.

The Senator has steadfastly opposed the inclusion of a public-option in the current Senate healthcare reform bill - critics have accused Lieberman of settling scores with Democrats after he lost a Democratic primary in 2006 to Democrat Ned Lamont. This led to Lieberman running as an independent - he won the election, although several opinion polls now put his re-election chances in 2012 at below 50%; other polls suggest a strong majority of Connecticut's voters support a public-option. Some have speculated that the Republican Party has privately promised not to field a viable candidate in Connecticut in the 2012 race in return for Lieberman's opposition to health-care reform. Yet, the Senator's latest comments appear to suggest different motivations may be at play.

Sun-Maid raisin company faces criticism over new image.

The US raisin-producer Sun-Maid Growers of California is facing heavy criticism over a recently unveiled decision to "update" the image of a female grape-picker that has featured in its logo almost since the co-op was founded in 1912. Sun-Maid has defended the change, which critics have described as "slutty" and "too sexy" - with a spokesperson for the co-op stating: "Now was the right time to update our image. We feel that this particular change simply better reflects the times in which we now live."


Full story here.

Madame Tussaud's apologizes over Merkel-Clinton mix-up.

EXCLUSIVE PHOTO: Tiger Woods after crash!

"I'm gonna be fine," insists golfer Tiger Woods.

Environmental record questioned.

Why was it released in mono? Why were the chapter breaks so abrupt? Why isn't it available on iTunes?

New police photo: "Missing Maddy" may be in Australia.

Southern Hemisphere ignore this post.

Fresh fears over Gordon Brown's eyesight.

There were renewed fears over UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown's deteriorating eyesight yesterday following an incident in which Brown walked past his official residence, Number 10 Downing Street, instead of going inside as was planned. The incident ended after police chased after Mr Brown and redirected him in the right direction. Downing Street has shrugged off the incident, saying "The Prime Minister detected a pocket of suffering somewhere in Britain and was trying to find where it was so that he could try to fix it."

Creepy versus not creepy (aka psycho versus not psycho).

Creepy...


Not creepy...


Creepy...


Not creepy...

Questions raised over relevancy of new police image of Madeleine McCann as she might look in an Andy Warhol painting.

"We really think it might help jog someone's memory."

Blair: "I will be the people's president."

Standing in front of the European Parliament building in Strasbourg, France, Tony Blair told reporters Friday morning that if he were elected as Europe's first president, he would be "The people's president." Mr Blair, holding a mug of coffee in one hand, with the other lodged in his pocket, added: "Look...this is totally spontaneous. I just wanted to come out here and let you know what is in my heart. Having completed my mission as Special Middle East Envoy, I now seek a new arena to which I can bring my unique abilities to get results."

Following his short statement, Mr Blair returned back the EU parliament building, declining to answer reporters' questions. Mr Blair's hopes of becoming EU president (a post stipulated by the Lisbon Treaty) are viewed as realistic but fading, particularly because of the former UK PM's support of former US president George W. Bush's invasion of Iraq. At the time, Mr Blair is said to have viewed himself as a Churchillian figure destined for greatness for shunning the apparent "appeasement" of Saddam Hussein. Later, this "delusion" left an indelible stain on his premiership, which ended in 2007.

Sage advice...

"Think about other people's feelings too."

Peter Falk slams Brown and Griffin.

"They are a disgrace to one-eyed people everywhere!"