The troubled entertainer emerged from hiding (in a wooden box) yesterday and was snapped by photographers. "I feel just great!" said Jackson.
Meanwhile, failed financial companies such as Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac would be renamed "Barack Obama Fannie Mae" and "Barack Obama Freddie Mac" which is also expected to instantly propel their stock prices upwards. Even struggling home-owners are to be allowed to make use of the scheme. For example, neighbourhoods with falling house prices will be able to rename themselves "Barack Obamaville" or "Obamatown" etc.
"When the guy said he had a plan to save the economy, I never thought it would involve him," said one Wall Street trader, adding "The more stuff has his name on it, the better! Let the good times roll."
The passage of Proposition 8, a controverial measure to outlaw recently enabled gay marriages in California will lead to an unusual arrangement, campaigners say. Gay couples that have already married will be forced to marry gay members of the opposite sex. Most notably, Star Trek actor Geroge Takei has been selected to marry fellow lesbian celebrity Ellen Degeneres.
Newsifact formally endorses the grassroots campaign to draft John McCain for the 2012 presidential campaign. Sign the petitions, knock on doors. The campaign begins today!
Scandinavia:
The area to be enhanced is the eastern peninsula of Kamchatka.
Plans are underway by the Russian government to spend 42 billion US dollars in reclaiming land around Kamchatka in order to create a phallic symbol comparable to Florida and Scandinavia. The reasons remain unclear, though one psychologist noted "A chronic need to be viewed as important." as the likeliest cause.
British actor Bob Hoskins, star of such films as Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and Nixon is to unveil a new facial expression at a ceremony later this week. Speaking before the event, Mr Hoskins said "The one expression has served me so well all these years, but I just felt it was time for something new."
A McCain spokesman defended the decision saying "You guys are all paranoid. There isn't any code here at all. It is just a rally and this location was selected because of space considerations rather than any other reason the 'mainstream media' may wish to conjure up." McCain, who trails in polls has recently been accused of firing up negative attacks on his opponent Barack Obama in an attempt to have voters question the Democratic candidate's credentials.
McCain apparently hates pork. Muslims don't eat pork. Is McCain a Muslim?
It is a hotdog with no meat. Did the pork offend his faith? And why is he going round saying he'll veto pork? Newsifact wants to know why the manistream media has not picked up on this.
Former American Football star OJ Simpson has checked himself into an unknown hospital in LA after conceding that he was suffering from severe "trial addiction." Mr Simpson was first tried in 1994 for the murder of his ex-wife Nicole Brown. Since then, he has also taken part in a civil murder trial and most recently a trial for armed robbery in Nevada.
