Newsifact

Causually pepper spraying cop meets the sneezing panda.

2011-11-22T01:43:00.000-08:00

Austerity isn't working...

2011-11-18T04:34:00.000-08:00

Exclusive: First image of Gerard Depardieu urinating on plane incident.

2011-08-18T09:15:00.000-07:00

Story here.

Cameron and Cobra.

2011-08-09T10:45:00.001-07:00

Obama announces "historic" manned mission halfway to Mars.

2011-08-08T00:32:00.000-07:00

US president Barack Obama has announced a "bold and historic" American-led mission that will see humans traveling halfway to the planet Mars a decade from now. The NASA mission, set to begin in 2022, will involve astronauts traveling approximately 100 million miles towards the Red Planet before turning around and heading back home.

President Obama hailed the trip as a significant compromise, noting "There were those who argued we should travel all the way to the Red Planet, while others argued that we should not go at all. I rejected these extremes and believe that this compromise will significantly bend the curve towards an ultimate full Mars trip some time in the future."

President Obama announced the "compromise" trip during a national address from the Oval Office.

The spacecraft that is set to carry six astronauts on the one year round trip is currently being designed at NASA. It will be half fueled by a revolutionary ion propulsion system and half fueled by coal. The compromise came after several Republican Senate leaders threatened to filibuster the trip if fossil fuels were not part of the mix.

As for funding, Obama had insisted that the roughly $30 billion trip be paid for by increasing taxes on the wealthy, who currently enjoy some of the lowest rates in decades. However, after much wrangling in Congress, a "compromise" was hammered out with Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell in which half of the costs will come from cuts to welfare programs and half from tax cuts.

Critics have dismissed the "compromise" mission - the first major trip of its kind since the final manned moon mission in 1972 - arguing that President Obama should have fought for a full Mars trip. "What's the point of this?" asked Dan Slammons, a former NASA engineer. "Either you're going to Mars or you're not. To have the astronauts travel half way and then return is just humiliating and, frankly, makes America look ridiculous in the eyes of the world."

Responding to these criticisms in a recent interview on the US network ABC, President Obama stated "This is the deal we got. It is historic because it means that for the first time, humans are going to be heading for Mars. That is something we can all be proud of."

Men on Mars? Not this time.

Newsifact correction on "Murdock tries fo save Face" story.

2011-07-20T00:57:00.000-07:00

Newsifact recently ran the following pictures under a story entitled "Murdock tries to save Face".

The correct headline should have been "Murdoch tries to save face" and the correct picture is below. We apologize for the error and any confusion it may have caused.

A Personal Message from James Murdoch on the News Corp. Scandal.

2011-07-17T13:23:00.000-07:00

Obama baby throw goes terribly wrong...

2011-04-15T04:21:00.000-07:00

Weeee...!!

Ooops!!

English footballer Paul Gascoigne in direct talks with Gaddafi.

2011-02-24T03:11:00.000-08:00

Paul Gascoigne photographed yesterday leaving Colonel Gaddafi's compound in Tripoli.

It has been confirmed that former England footballer Paul Gascoigne is in Libya, trying to persuade embattled leader Colonel Gaddafi to step down.

Gascoigne or "Gazza" achieved fame playing for the England national squad in the 1990s, but has been plauged by alcohol and drugs problems in recent years. Last July, the former footballer famously tried to persuade crazed gunman and former nightclub security guard Raoul Moat to surrender himself to police in Northumbria, England. Moat had shot his ex-girlfriend as well as her new partner and after days in hiding, was cornered by police - but the Gascoigne effect had no impact: after a long standoff with police, Moat shot himself.

Raoul Moat.

This time, Gascoigne hopes to have more success. The footballer told reporters yesterday that he flew out to Libya after watching events unfold on television. "Fortunately, the Colonel was a football fan and knew who I was" said Gascoigne, "So I was allowed in to talk to him." Mr Gascoigne is now trying to persuade the Libyan leader to relinquish power and avoid further bloodshed in his country. "He's a good man," said the former footballer, "Just give him some time and he'll do the right thing."

Gaddafi spotted?

2011-02-22T03:20:00.000-08:00

Britain's shame: comedian Ronnie Corbett implicated in royal attack.

2010-12-13T01:17:00.000-08:00

London police have confirmed the existence of CCTV footage proving that comedian Ronnie Corbett (80) was one of the chief ringleaders in student riots last week. The protests took place last Thursday as parliament approved a controversial hike in student fees. During the demonstrations, a small minority rioted, including attacking a car carrying heir-to-the-throne Prince Charles and his wife Camila.

Police have been studying video recordings of this incident in order to bring the perpetrators to justice. Witnesses described a man resembling Corbett at the scene, adding that it was he who smashed the window of the car carrying Charles and Camilla. The reports were initially dismissed as far-fetched, but have now been confirmed by police, who say they intend to bring the eighty-year-old comedian in for questioning. Mr Corbett has yet to publicly comment on the matter.

Ronnie Corbett came to widespread prominence in 1966 after starring in a famous sketch along with comedians John Cleese and Ronnie Barker, which parodied the British class system.

He later starred alongside Ronnie Barker in the variety show The Two Ronnies, which ran from 1971 to 1987. In recent years, Corbett has bee less active in the public arena - or so it was thought.

"What has Britain come to when one of our most renowned comedic figures partakes in this kind of disgraceful conduct?" asked The Sun newspaper yesterday. Similar sentiments have echoed across the country. Radio DJ James Whale had the harshest words for Corbett, "If it's true that he was involved, he needs to be treated like the scum that he is. I have no sympathy for him at all: beat him in the same way that he beat the royals and then kick him so hard that he realises the kind of low-life scum that he is. That's the way to deal with sub-human trash like that; it's the only way that Britain's black sheep will learn."

James Whale - not happy

Mark Chapman and Karl Rove - eerie resemblance.

2010-12-08T11:46:00.000-08:00

John Lennon's killer Mark Chapman and Republican operative Karl Rove - eerily similar-looking (note the cold eyes). Both killing liberal dreams the hard way...

David Beckham invited to Hungary to solve government farming subsidies row.

2010-12-06T01:03:00.000-08:00

English footballer David Beckham flew out to Budapest yesterday to mediate a dispute between Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán and a renegade bloc in his governing Fidesz party. The dispute centers around perceived regional differences in farming subsidies allocated by the Hungarian government. "It's become a real game of political football," said Orbán of the invite, "So I thought that maybe Mr Beckham would be the right man to help us."

Speaking at Heathrow Airport, London prior to his departure, Mr Beckham stated that he would "Do everything in my power to try and bring the two sides together," adding that "It was a real honour to be asked to help."

Leslie Nielsen 1926-2010

2010-11-29T02:05:00.000-08:00

Farting Bush - a 2010 message.

2010-10-26T06:59:00.000-07:00

Exclusive image from new Austin Powers movie.

2010-10-11T04:23:00.000-07:00

Austin Powers is back with filming underway for a third sequel in the Bond-spoofing comedy series starring Mike Myers. The as yet untitled project marks Austin Powers' return to the silver screen after an eight year absence following the movie Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002).

Judging from the exclusive images published here, the series will continue its nods to the cartoonish villains of the 1960s. Mike Myers is again reprising both the role of the chief protagonist, the main villain as well as a mysterious new bad guy who appears to be a parody of the character "Oddjob" from 1964's Goldfinger.

Celebrities that look alike: Oksana and Octomom.

2010-08-16T04:38:00.000-07:00

Oksana

Octomom

Kevin Spacey to portray footballer John Terry in BBC movie.

2010-06-23T09:47:00.000-07:00

It has been confirmed that actor Kevin Spacey will portray England footballer John Terry in a BBC TV movie to be produced later this year. The movie will centre around Terry's World Cup campaign, specifically the recent machinations surrounding his short-lived revolt against manager Fabio Capello.

Yet another person that Michael Sheen could play...

2010-06-17T23:33:00.000-07:00

...Tony Hayward, head of BP.

Predator drone.

2010-06-01T07:02:00.000-07:00

"Have I mentioned that I was in two Predator movies? Kind of reminds me of a story my grandfather told me about the Second World War. It was 1939 and this man was driving a car, which had just been repaired. By the way, it was raining that day and..."

Obama takes over BP oil spill effort...

2010-05-30T04:01:00.000-07:00

David Cameron's Toffifee ad...

2010-05-06T00:35:00.000-07:00

The Sun newspaper faces criticism over "Is Clegg Gay?" headline.

2010-05-04T23:04:00.000-07:00

The story appeared in the first edition of The Sun and has since been withdrawn. Nonetheless, the Press Complaints Commission has confirmed that it is undertaking an investigation.

Ashley Cole faces flight ban after Iceland incident.

2010-05-04T01:31:00.000-07:00

A huge cloud hangs over the future career of England Premier league player Ashley Cole following an incident in an Iceland frozen food store yesterday. According to witnesses, Ashley Cole erupted during a visit to an Iceland store in London's Heathrow airport while waiting to board a flight. The incident allegedly occurred after the footballer was told that the store did not sell lava lamps. He then "exploded" and started spewing obscenities at staff with authorities immediately taking the precautionary measure of banning Cole from flying in European airspace. Authorities suggest that the Chelsea star will be barred from flying for several days until "he cools down a little" said one official at Heathrow.

Sky News denies bias in wake of cow mooing "vote Cameron" story.

2010-05-02T01:21:00.000-07:00

Rupert Murdoch-owned UK broadcaster Sky News denied accusations of bias yesterday after broadcasting a segment featuring a cow whose moo, the report suggested, sounded like "vote Cameron". Despite UK law requiring broadcasters to maintain a neutral perspective, critics argue that Sky News has used every opportunity to paint Conservative Party candidate David Cameron in a positive light, over-emphasizing positive stories, while downplaying recent poll gains made by Liberal Democrat rival Nick Clegg.

Sky News political editor Adam Boulton denies the network is trying to become a British version of Fox News.

Sky News has vigorously defended this latest accusation, with political editor Adam Boulton arguing that "The cow story was meant to be humorous...plus, we really felt that it's mooing sounded like 'vote Cameron'." Mr Boulton also defended the channel's decision to analyse the potential negative implications for Nick Clegg in light of the cow's moo, arguing that "We thought it a legitimate question to ask: if even cows are mooing for Cameron, then Clegg might be in real trouble. That's an entirely objective question to ask."

BP logo - strangely appropriate in light of spill.

2010-04-30T03:52:00.001-07:00

PICTURES: Thailand begins brutal crackdown of redshirts.

2010-04-28T04:02:00.000-07:00

Thai government will not tolerate Star Trek fans portraying insignificant disposable characters. Story here.

Cameron warns Lib Dem votes could cause Saddam Hussein to come back from dead.

2010-04-26T23:29:00.000-07:00

"It might happen!" warns Cameron.

Murdoch press reacts: The Sun leads with "Brave Dave Warns of Barmy Lib Dem/ Saddam Plot"; Sky News devotes four hours of coverage to whether David Cameron is "brave or very brave", while The Times goes with "Lib Dem Victory Could Lead to Saddam WMDs Targeting Weakened Britain".

Stephen Hawking sends Gordon Brown an accusatory picture of himself looking both disappointed and angry.

2010-04-26T03:41:00.000-07:00

"What have you done, Gordon?" - "Brown's Britain" 2010.

Renowned physicist Stephen Hawking has had a special photographic portrait made of himself in which, looking directly into camera in an accusatory manner, his expression reveals both anger, bitterness and disappointment. The work, entitled "Brown's Britain" was delivered by courier to Number 10 Downing Street, the official residence of the UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown, on Monday morning.

According to art critic Brian Sewell, the image is "utterly devastating; Hawking's expression captures both the disappointments and resentments that have been swelling in Brown's Britain for years. We deserved better, and Hawking isn't shy about letting Brown know the current feelings of the nation...truly magnificent!"

"I hope he gets the message," said Hawking in a statement released early Monday morning, adding "I think that my disapproving expression should give Prime Minister Brown some serious pause for thought as to where he is taking Britain." Number 10 has thus far declined to comment on the matter.

Republican senator who looks like a tortoise keeps trying to slow down reform legislation.

2010-04-20T05:54:00.001-07:00

Senator Mitch McConnell (R) is trying to kill financial reform by slowing down the process - story here.

Brown to send top emissaries to grieving Poland.

2010-04-12T06:53:00.000-07:00

UK PM Gordon Brown has revealed that he is sending former footballer Jimmy Greaves to Poland to "help the country's people with their terrible loss".

Also en route to Poland is former Monty Python star Michael Palin; his presenting duties in the documentary TV series Pole to Pole are believed to have motivated Brown to add him to the list of special emissaries heading to the region. "It's a symbol of solidarity," said Brown "Poland can now grieve with Greaves, while Michael Palin will underline the sense of pain felt from Pole to Pole.

The Pope Must Die - a DVD release opportunity?

2010-04-04T06:58:00.000-07:00

The Pope Must Die is still not available on DVD. Could this be the perfect time to release it?

Pope does a "Fritzl".

2010-03-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

Two propaganda outlets censor Obama.

2010-02-03T01:25:00.001-08:00

TERROR CLAMPDOWN LATEST: Moviegoers to face screenings.

2010-01-04T08:22:00.000-08:00

...of movies!

Republican hillbilly caller learns about karma - the hard way.

2009-12-22T10:35:00.000-08:00

Very funny!

At Copenhagen summit, China emboldened by Joe Lieberman.

2009-12-18T06:59:00.001-08:00

"60 votes? Hah! Your country doesn't have democracy either!" the Chinese PM tells President Obama.

'Danish Prime Minister Lars Rasmussen opened the gathering [at the last day of the Copenhagen climate change summit], saying that it is "not too often us leaders get a chance to chart out a new course for our planet." No such course was forthcoming. Minutes later, Chinese Premier Wen Jibao hailed his own nation's efforts to curb greenhouse gas emissions. But he offered no give on the key matters that had been raised by the United States: China placing its emissions reductions within a binding treaty and subjecting them to outside verification. Wen indicated that China would keep its emissions limits voluntary and unilateral.'

Sourced here.

BREAKING: Dirk "Face" Benedict throws glass of punch at Italian PM.

2009-12-13T10:39:00.000-08:00

More updates as we get them...

Tiger Woods' latest controversy: Once accidentally got golf and women the wrong way round.

2009-12-09T00:26:00.000-08:00

He screwed a golf course...

And "It was a little painful, but pleasant too..." said one woman involved in the mix-up.

Huge "coincidence": Massive explosion in Iraq a day after political unrest in Iran.

2009-12-08T01:21:00.000-08:00

"Quick, set off another bomb in Iraq so people don't focus on the shit we're doing to our own people!"

Saudis blame "warm polar bear" for melting sea-ice.

2009-12-07T23:22:00.001-08:00

"This [above] picture proves it!" said Saudi oil minister Ali al-Naimi on Monday, adding "If those bears didn't warm up the ice by sitting on it, we'd be fine right now."

Recession means terrorists trying to get the most bang for the buck.

2009-12-07T05:16:00.001-08:00

We report that Avatar is good, you still decide it's shit!

2009-12-07T00:59:00.001-08:00

It's begun: Rupert Murdoch paper plugging shit and very expensive film made by Rupert Murdoch studio.

Picture sparks fresh concerns as "Blair can't even take a dump without being strangely self-conscious".

2009-12-06T01:07:00.001-08:00

There are fresh concerns over the mental health of Tony Blair following the release of a picture of the former British Prime Minister sitting on a toilet. The picture was taken during a break from the recent negotiations in Brussels over the post of President of the European Council - a post which Blair ultimately lost to Belgian PM Herman Van Rompuy.

The person who took the picture has decided to remain anonymous, but insists that he took the photograph out of a concern for Mr Blair's mental state: "I went to the bathroom and heard a person apparently talking to themselves in one of the cabins," said the source "It was very strange. He was mumbling things like 'This will be a people's turd...I...you know...want you all to...you know...understand...I cannot appease this turd any longer...it will stand turd to turd with all the turds and be a great turd...history will judge.' So I decided to force the door open to see what was going on and ended up taking a picture of Tony Blair on the toilet. And the weirdest thing was, that he was reading all of these things from a piece of paper, like he couldn't even take a s*#t anymore without convincing himself of his own historical greatness. The guy is clearly in denial."

The source for the photograph also added that he hopes the picture's publication will help rather than harm Blair "I mean, if this guy is self-conscious even while taking a dump in private, then maybe he needs some help. I hope my picture helps to move this process forward."

Meanwhile, Palestinians have been continuing their month-long celebrations following the failure of Mr Blair to win the EU presidency. "That means he will remain as a Middle-East peace envoy!" said one Palestinian in Ramallah "And this brings great joy and hope to all of us. He really is the man to get things done!"

Frank Bough: Tiger Woods has gone too far.

2009-12-05T05:37:00.000-08:00

Frank Bough, the seemingly wholesome BBC TV presenter who faced scandal in 1992 after it was revealed that he regularly visited sado-masochistic drug-fuelled orgies has hit out at golfer Tiger Woods. In a statement released to the media on Friday, Bough called on Woods to come clean regarding revelations that he was a serial adulterer: "Enough is enough. These sorded details are coming out drip by drip and it has to stop. He has gone too far and now he should come clean and face the music."

Lieberman: No-one will "connect the dots" about my lucrative post-Senate-career.

2009-12-04T23:54:00.000-08:00

Senator Joe Lieberman (I- Connecticut) has dismissed reports that he has reached a secret agreement with medical insurance interests to oppose healthcare reform - one that promises Lieberman a very lucrative post-Senate career. "By the time my post-Senate-career begins, this current healthcare debate will be long over. No-one is going to care, frankly, about trying to connect the dots when they aren't there," said Lieberman at a press conference yesterday.

However, when pressed on the matter of whether he was opposing the so-called "public-option" favored by most Democrats for financial reasons, and in particular because he had been offered a multi-million dollar private-sector job in return, Lieberman remained coy: "Like I said, no-one will care by then what I do and frankly that is my own business. I don't rule out anything. Right now I am a Senator."

Lieberman, a former Democrat and vice-presidential candidate (on the Gore-Lieberman ticket in 2000) maintains a position in the Senate Democratic Caucus despite having left the party and endorsed Republican John McCain in the last presidential election. President Obama is believed to have personally lobbied to stop Democrats from stripping Lieberman of his current chairmanship of the Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs in light of the above.

The Senator has steadfastly opposed the inclusion of a public-option in the current Senate healthcare reform bill - critics have accused Lieberman of settling scores with Democrats after he lost a Democratic primary in 2006 to Democrat Ned Lamont. This led to Lieberman running as an independent - he won the election, although several opinion polls now put his re-election chances in 2012 at below 50%; other polls suggest a strong majority of Connecticut's voters support a public-option. Some have speculated that the Republican Party has privately promised not to field a viable candidate in Connecticut in the 2012 race in return for Lieberman's opposition to health-care reform. Yet, the Senator's latest comments appear to suggest different motivations may be at play.

Sun-Maid raisin company faces criticism over new image.

2009-12-04T05:19:00.000-08:00

The US raisin-producer Sun-Maid Growers of California is facing heavy criticism over a recently unveiled decision to "update" the image of a female grape-picker that has featured in its logo almost since the co-op was founded in 1912. Sun-Maid has defended the change, which critics have described as "slutty" and "too sexy" - with a spokesperson for the co-op stating: "Now was the right time to update our image. We feel that this particular change simply better reflects the times in which we now live."

Full story here.

Madame Tussaud's apologizes over Merkel-Clinton mix-up.

2009-12-01T02:06:00.000-08:00

EXCLUSIVE PHOTO: Tiger Woods after crash!

2009-11-30T10:35:00.000-08:00

"I'm gonna be fine," insists golfer Tiger Woods.

Environmental record questioned.

2009-11-17T01:42:00.001-08:00

Why was it released in mono? Why were the chapter breaks so abrupt? Why isn't it available on iTunes?

New police photo: "Missing Maddy" may be in Australia.

2009-11-10T08:16:00.000-08:00

Southern Hemisphere ignore this post.

Fresh fears over Gordon Brown's eyesight.

2009-11-10T00:30:00.000-08:00

There were renewed fears over UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown's deteriorating eyesight yesterday following an incident in which Brown walked past his official residence, Number 10 Downing Street, instead of going inside as was planned. The incident ended after police chased after Mr Brown and redirected him in the right direction. Downing Street has shrugged off the incident, saying "The Prime Minister detected a pocket of suffering somewhere in Britain and was trying to find where it was so that he could try to fix it."

Creepy versus not creepy (aka psycho versus not psycho).

2009-11-09T06:31:00.000-08:00

Creepy...

Not creepy...

Creepy...

Not creepy...

Questions raised over relevancy of new police image of Madeleine McCann as she might look in an Andy Warhol painting.

2009-11-04T05:37:00.000-08:00

"We really think it might help jog someone's memory."

Blair: "I will be the people's president."

2009-10-30T03:37:00.001-07:00

Standing in front of the European Parliament building in Strasbourg, France, Tony Blair told reporters Friday morning that if he were elected as Europe's first president, he would be "The people's president." Mr Blair, holding a mug of coffee in one hand, with the other lodged in his pocket, added: "Look...this is totally spontaneous. I just wanted to come out here and let you know what is in my heart. Having completed my mission as Special Middle East Envoy, I now seek a new arena to which I can bring my unique abilities to get results."

Following his short statement, Mr Blair returned back the EU parliament building, declining to answer reporters' questions. Mr Blair's hopes of becoming EU president (a post stipulated by the Lisbon Treaty) are viewed as realistic but fading, particularly because of the former UK PM's support of former US president George W. Bush's invasion of Iraq. At the time, Mr Blair is said to have viewed himself as a Churchillian figure destined for greatness for shunning the apparent "appeasement" of Saddam Hussein. Later, this "delusion" left an indelible stain on his premiership, which ended in 2007.

Sage advice...

2009-10-26T07:52:00.001-07:00

"Think about other people's feelings too."

Peter Falk slams Brown and Griffin.

2009-10-23T01:55:00.000-07:00

"They are a disgrace to one-eyed people everywhere!"

German football coach discusses latest match.

2009-10-12T00:45:00.000-07:00

Germany Go Forward

by Joachim Loew

Germany SWEPT the board with their latest 1-0 victory against Russia on Saturday ensuring entry into the World Cup finals. How did we do it? I told the players that they had to COMB forward in the first half. The important thing was to THICKEN UP the right flank, and then for the strikers to PART by the box and create a SCISSOR-like formation, which would CROP the other side's defences.

At the start, I made sure that they knew that this team had to GEL. Only then would they have a chance of SPRAYING the Russians with goals. In the end, the team really SHINED. They had TONED their STYLE to the point that they had both VOLUME and BOUNCE. I was really proud of the way the players WEAVED through the opposition. I felt like I had GROOMED our side into great squad; the style of play was like MOUSSE - both thick and fluid at the same time. We had avoided being LOCKED into a single strategy. Instead, we could TRIM out the fat and BRUSH up on our techniques as the match progressed. The silver-lining came when we CURLED in the winning goal. Our FANS were truly delighted! They ROLLED around joyously and praised the CONDITION of our squad. But I don't want to WAX lyrical. After the players have WASHED and DRIED, it will be time to focus on the next challenge.

Berlusconi attacks Zimbabwean PM during official visit.

2009-10-08T00:19:00.000-07:00

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi violently attacked Morgan Tsvangirai during the Zimbabwean Prime Minister's official visit to Italy on Tuesday. Following a policy-oriented meeting between the two men in Rome, Tsvangirai emerged battered and brusied and told reporters that the Italian PM had mauled him. Tsvangirai was then taken to a local hospital where he stayed until the following day. This is the first time that the Zimbabwean PM has been physically attacked by forces other than those connected to President Robert Mugabe's ZANU-PF party.

Shortly after the attack, a relaxed Berlusconi boasted to the press about what he had done: "The guy was clearly part of a left-wing plot against me. By the way, I would have tried to screw his wife, but she died recently and I'm not into necrophilia." said the Italian PM. Snap polls suggest that the indcident has boosted Berlusconi's ratings among the Italian public.

BREAKING: Jordan to recognize Israel.

2009-10-05T08:46:00.000-07:00

"I've been reading an atlas, so it won't be long before I can recognize it! I found Italy the other day - it looks like this big shoe!"

Cheney: Obama should have threatened IOC with rival Games.

2009-10-02T23:19:00.000-07:00

Reacting to Chicago's losing bid to host the 2016 Olympic Games, former Vice-President Dick Cheney said on Friday: "President Obama should have been tougher with the International Olympic Committee - if they don't select Chicago, then the US will go it alone and hold its own Games. I really feel that the President made a mistake by not demonstrating that there would be major consequences for an unfavorable decision. He should have literally twisted IOC member's arms, not just figuratively."

Mr Cheney also added that a rival Games could still go ahead, albeit with very different rules to the Olympics: "There would be two teams: a team of allies led by the US, and a team of those who oppose us. We would be fighting for good, so we wouldn't need any rules or restrictions. The other side might have a little trouble getting into the US!"

Brazil, which won the 2o16 Olympic bid "Would then have to decide whether it really wanted to host a rival Games" added Cheney "As that would be something that would cause us great offense."

John Bolton

Reacting to Mr Cheney's comments, former Bush-era UN ambassador John Bolton describled them as "The most sane suggestion I have heard all week."

Weird and wrong on so many levels...

2009-09-28T04:50:00.000-07:00

Homeless Georgia sex-offenders directed to live in the woods, which is ironically where they...

Story here.

Britain becoming increasingly weird...

2009-09-26T12:07:00.000-07:00

Kanye West redeems image following shock UN appearance.

2009-09-23T23:51:00.001-07:00

Fresh concerns over health of footballer Paul Gascoigne.

2009-09-23T05:26:00.000-07:00

Fresh concerns have been raised about the health of former England footballer Paul Gascoigne after he was photographed looking frail and unwell during a funeral service for England manager Bobby Robson held on Sunday. Gascoigne, aged 42, has battled to overcome alcohol addiction as well as mental health issues since retiring from the game. This has led to a somewhat gaunt appearance. However, "Gazza's" appearance during the memorial service for his former coach, who died of cancer on 31st July of this year has raised eyebrows.

Don't Hassle the Hoff (with talk of going to AA).

2009-09-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

Former star David Hasselhoff

President Obama's thoughts during Joe Wilson's interruption.

2009-09-16T08:25:00.000-07:00

Really scary psychopath...

2009-09-16T01:27:00.000-07:00

This is really creepy...

Newsmax: The most annoying push-poll ad campaign ever? Vote now!

2009-09-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

Anti-Obama protestors say racist acronyms "accidental".

2009-09-13T01:29:00.000-07:00

Anti-Obama protestors descending in their thousands on Washington D.C. on Saturday have defended the names given to several of their grassroots organizations, saying that their overtly racist acronyms are entirely coincidental.

For example the National Independent Group Guiding Elevated Reform (NIGGER) has stated that its title was guided entirely by a fitting description of its mission to prevent a "government takeover of our neighborhoods" its spokesman also adding "I just don't want this socialized healthcare moving into my street and imposed on my daughter."

Similarly, the Committee Organized to Oppose Nationalization (COON) and the Movement to Overturn the Nationalized Killing in the Everyday Young (MONKEY) have also denied any racial undertones to their opposition to President Obama's healthcare reform agenda. When the racist epithet was pointed out to "MONKEY" the group's spokesperson described it as "accidental" and "purely a coincidence". So far, Republicans, perhaps fearful of losing a key voting bloc, have refused to distance themselves from these groups.

A newly-founded group, the Organization Believing America Mustn't Accept Broad Insurance Nationalization Leading to Absolute Delivery Evaporation and Negligence (OBAMABINLADEN) has also denied such charges, stating on its website "This title simply best describes what is at the core of our philosophy."

How many Khans can you have in a single story?

2009-09-11T01:34:00.000-07:00

From a BBC story:

1. "Muslim Khan was a key spokesman for the Taliban in the Swat valley."

2. "He was detained along with fellow militant Mahmood Khan, also reported to be one of the most senior Taliban commanders in Swat."

3. "The BBC's M Ilyas Khan in Islamabad says this is a significant milestone for the army's operation in Swat."

"KHAAAAAN!!!"

John Boehner denies alcoholism in impassioned speech.

2009-09-10T00:15:00.000-07:00

Republican House Minority Leader John Boehner gave an impassioned speech on Wednesday dismissing as false persistent rumors that he is a secret alcoholic. "I have an illness that precisely mimics the effects of alcoholism," said the Republican "From the reddish skin, to the gaunt appearance, to the slurred speech, to the glazed and unfocused eyes - this rare illness makes innocent sufferers appear that they are alcoholics when in fact they are not."

Boehner declined to elaborate on any precise details with regards to this "rare illness" but explained that "the disease even produces bacteria in the mouth that produce a strong alcohol-like smell that scientists say resembles the odor of something known as 'Jack Daniels'."

The US Representative also added that doctors had advised him that these bacteria in his body were strongly susceptible to large doses of ethanol and that he had been ordered to drink vast quantities of whiskey in order to defeat the disease. "Normally, this is something that I would never do, but I must follow doctors' orders. This ethanol medicine appears to be the best way to beat this thing, and I am doing my very best to increase my intake. I am asking people to please be tolerant of my appearance during this fight."

Fresh concerns over health of Steve Jobs.

2009-09-09T12:27:00.001-07:00

See? This absolutely proves it!

2009-09-08T11:16:00.001-07:00

End of discussion!

Right-wing mob attacks Roger Federer during doctor's visit.

2009-09-04T01:19:00.000-07:00

A right-wing mob has attacked Swiss tennis player Roger Federer during a routine doctor's visit in the US state of Wyoming. Federer, who is vacationing in the state, undertook a doctor's visit for a minor ailment, but was met by an angry crowd accusing him of wanting to destroy the US healthcare system.

The incident appears to have been caused by a typo in a series of "educational pamphlets" distributed to right-wing groups by a prominent lobbying front group representing US medical insurance companies. The pamphlet had the banner: "Say no to a federer take-over of healthcare!"

After receiving the pamphlets, one Wyoming-based Republican group apparently learned that the tennis star was visiting the area and immediately set out to ambush the man, yelling profanities and accusing him of being a "Nazi-communist!"

"He didn't know what the hell was going on," said one bystander.

The lobbying group has issued an apology for the typo. Yet, this isn't the first time such a mix-up has taken place. Last month, an angry mob in D.C. attacked Judy Feder, a Professor of Public Policy at Georgetown University after a similar typo in lobbyist-produced materials asked Republican groups to "Say no to Feder take-over."

"We have since undertaken several procedures to make sure that these errors don't happen again," said a spokesperson for the lobbyist group "The medical insurance companies have been very supportive and have agreed to provide $400 million for an entire fleet of spell-checkers."

Fan outrage over planned Disney alterations to Marvel characters.

2009-09-01T01:53:00.000-07:00

Spiderman fans have reacted with outrage at a newly-released image of their beloved icon, updated by the character's new owners. The image was released by Disney to mark its acquisition of Marvel Entertainment in a $4 billion deal sealed on Monday. But to many fans' dismay, Marvel's most famous character is apparently being updated by its new owners. "How can they do this? At first I thought it was some kind of sick joke," says Brad Timson, chairman of one of the dozens of Spiderman fan-clubs across the U.S. "They've slapped this idiotic smile on him and those big Bambi-esque eyes. It is really disgusting."

However, a spokesperson for Disney defended the changes: "We wanted to do something special to welcome this beloved character into the Disney family. We decided that the best way to update this great character was to widen his appeal to a broader audience. We believe these subtle changes will do that."

Australian actor to sue Yahoo! over name infringement.

2009-08-31T06:53:00.000-07:00

Australian actor Yahoo Serious, star of such movies as the 1988 hit film Young Einstein, is suing the Internet service provider Yahoo! over a new search-engine the company unveiled on Monday. The search-engine is called "Yahoo! Serious" and is intented to be a scholarly search-engine focusing on serious subject-matters such as war or famine. However, Mr Serious' lawyers have announced that they believe that the new service infringes on their client's name. They have issued an immediate cease and desist letter to the California-based company and have also set in motion a $300 million lawsuit against Yahoo!.

"If you will pardon the pun," said a representative for Mr Serious, "We believe that this is a very serious matter. Our intention is to protect our client's name at all costs."

Yahoo! have thus far refrained from issuing a statement on the matter, while inside sources suggest that the company has no intention of taking down the new service.

More somber tone for new Obama album.

2009-08-30T00:33:00.000-07:00

Barack Obama released a new album this week, one which seems to be a departure from his previous double-platinum effort Songs in the Key of O. The new album, entitled Show Me the Music appears to have a far darker and more reflective tone. As before, most of the material is written by Obama himself.

Reactions to Oasis split.

2009-08-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

We bring you images of the wordwide outpouring of apathy following the news that Liam Gallagher is to leave the music group "Oasis"...

China keeping the word "wrath" alive...

2009-08-27T00:39:00.000-07:00

There's the 1939 novel "The Grapes of Wrath"...

The 1982 film "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan"...

And whenever a country invites the Dalai Lama, we always hear how they risk "incurring the wrath of China."

That's it.

"Hi, I'm the Dalai Lama. When I look at THE MOTION PICTURE of my life, there is much more to it than just incurring THE WRATH OF KHAN - that's my nickname for China. You know, when secretly I left Tibet as a boy, the people there undertook THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK - that was the codeword they used for me - thinking that I had just hidden somewhere. Now, after all these years, I wonder if I will ever be able to undertake THE VOYAGE HOME. In my mind, Tibet has become like THE FINAL FRONTIER. I've been away so long that my home is almost THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY. It really seems like GENERATIONS ago that I was there. I would love to cross the border and make FIRST CONTACT with my fellow Tibetans, but China fears my return would cause an INSURRECTION. Yes, the still view me as a NEMESIS. Maybe it is time for a reboot (reincarnation). Perhaps the next guy will be the one who gets to return."

Shock: Really cute animal found that hasn't yet been turned into a Pixar CGI animation film.

2009-08-26T15:25:00.001-07:00

Pixar and Disney have promised to get on the case right away! The animal is a Mexican Axolotl, a type of salamander; it's facing extinction in the wild. Shit, even really cute smiling animals are in danger...what other stunts do these creatures have to pull!?

Funny accents are no more...

2009-08-25T23:58:00.001-07:00

Ted Kennedy, pictued right, (1932-2009).

Exclusive: Klugman demanded rare test in Jackson autopsy.

2009-08-25T00:29:00.001-07:00

Newsifact can exlusively reveal that actor Jack Klugman, famous for portraying a Los Angeles County Coroner in the TV show Quincy M.E., demanded that those carrying out the autopsy of deceased singer Michael Jackson conduct a very rare, time-consuming and expensive test in order to reveal Jackson's cause of death. Klugman was brought in by the Jackson family (as we previously reported) to oversee the autopsy, and sources suggest, he soon started to make waves.

Klugman as Quincy.

Within a few hours of his arrival shortly after Jackson's death in late June, Klugman angrily denounced the cost-cutting shortcuts being taken during Jackson's autopsy. At that point, the Coroner's Office was ready to rule that Jackson's death was accidental. But Klugman demanded an extremely rare test be undertaken - this was met with almost immediate resistance by the powers-that-be. Klugman was an actor that had only portrayed a coroner, they argued. But Klugman reportedly would not back down. The Quincy star then called actor Robert Ito, who played Quincy's assistant Sam Fujiyama, in the middle of the night and begged him to come to his aide and help him conduct the tests. Ito sighed, but came to the aide of his friend.

A late-night call persuaded Ito to help Klugman.

The LA County Coroner's Office soon retaliated, bringing in actor John S. Ragin, who had played Quincy's boss Dr Robert Astin. Ragin then attempted to persuade Klugman that the tests he was undertaking, based solely on some "outlandish theory", would cause a backlog of other cases to build. He also argued that Klugman had no idea of the consequences of his actions and that the bureacratic process had to be respected. But Klugman reportedly could not be persuaded to stop. He and Ito spent the next few nights conducting a series of special tests on Jackson's body.

Ragin: "Do you have any idea just how much time this is going to take?"

One final desperate action was taken: actor Gary Walberg, who played the crusty, short-fused LAPD officer Lt. Frank Monahan on the Quincy TV show was hauled in to angrily tell Klugman that he had better stop wasting everyone's time and just get this thing over with.

At first, Walberg was angered by Klugman's hard-headed attitude.

Reports suggest that Klugman blew his top and gave a long impassioned speech about how doing the right thing should be the number one priority and that if the autopsy wasn't conducted properly, then whoever caused Jackson's overdose might remain free to do it to someone else.

Klugman eventually prevailed and Robert Ito brought the necessary test results from the toxicology lab just in the nick of time. In a stunning reversal, Dr Astin reluctanty sided with Quincy and eventually even Walberg had to concede that he was right. The results were released on Monday, and showed that Michael Jackson had lethal amounts of the drug propofol in his blood - the coroner's verdict was homicide.

A seemingly vindicated Klugman announced the results on Monday.

It was a huge bombshell and, insiders say, entirely down to Klugman's relentless pursuit of the truth. Michael Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, who is at the center of accusations of giving improper prescriptions to the singer, has denied responsibility for Jackson's death. Klugman, returning from "Danny's" pub on his way home to his houseboat in Newport Bay reacted by saying "The truth will soon come out".

Scottish First Minister admits real reasons for Al Megrahi release.

2009-08-24T04:56:00.001-07:00

Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond has revealed the real reasons for the recent release of the alleged Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset Ali Al Megrahi. "This wasn't about compassion or national security, anything like that at all," said Salmond. "We just did it to piss off the English, whom we really don't like very much here in Scotland. It is quite funny having to watch them get shit for this. I think we pulled it off quite well."

Outrage as Libya releases Scottish man.

2009-08-21T12:45:00.000-07:00

Confusion over fresh Hillary Clinton outburst.

2009-08-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

A fresh outburst by US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has left many scratching their heads. This time, she appears to have mis-understood a reporter's question during a press conferece held in Columbia related to a currently active hurricane called "Hurricane Bill". Hillary Clinton is in the country as part of a tour of Latin America and was asked to comment on the US government's preparations for "Hurricane Bill", a storm brewing in the Atlantic Ocean that some worry could pose a risk to coastal areas of New England.

"What are you currently doing to make sure Hurricane Bill doesn't cause major damage?" asked a reporter from the travelling press pool.

"I'm not doing anything about Bill!" snapped Hillary, apparently not understanding the question. "He is free to do what he wants! This is about me. If you want to ask about what my husband is doing, then ask him!"

The terse exchange echoed a similar recent incident in the Democratic Republic of Congo, when a translation error led the Secretary of State to believe a student questioner was asking about her husband's, rather than President Obama's opinion on a particular policy matter. "If you want an opinion, I will tell you my opinion. I am not going to be channelling my husband." she replied tersely.

Today's worst leaders as Bond villains.

2009-08-19T01:31:00.000-07:00

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as Franz Sanchez from "Licence to Kill" (1989).

Kim Jong Il as Dr Julius No from "Dr No" (1963).

Benjamin Netanyahu as Emilio Largo from "Thunderball" (1965).

Vladimir Putin as Max Zorin from "A View to a Kill" (1985).

Robert Mugabe as Mr Big from "Live and Let Die" (1973).

And, of course, Dick Cheney as Blofeld from "You Only Live Twice" (1967).

Green-screen strike brings Hollywood to standstill.

2009-08-17T05:07:00.000-07:00

A strike by green-screens has unexpectedly brought almost all Hollywood film production to a halt. The green-screens, which in feature-film productions are placed behind foreground action instead of real backgrounds, and later digitally "keyed out" and replaced with CGI effects, have become increasingly prominent in big-budget Hollywood films. The screens are demanding higher pay, arguing that their contributions toward modern film-making have been consistently underappreciated. "We have replaced sets, optical effects, props, live-action, backgrounds and maybe soon even actors," argued one green-screen we interviewed. "Our contributions should be recognized and we are demanding greater pay."

Hollywood studios have officially downplayed the effects of the strike, but behind-the-scenes, there is evident turmoil. A host of big-budget productions have been forced to suspend production completely. "When this strike started," says one insider "We were completely floored. There were suggestions that we might have to start building real sets again or actually build model miniatures. But there is no-one left here that can do that kind of stuff. These screens really have us by the balls - we are frankly, totally screwed!"

Newsifact will be back in a few weeks...

2009-07-31T09:39:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all our readers for visiting and re-visiting Newsifact! Enjoy your summer.

What exactly do American conservatives believe in conserving?

2009-07-30T15:05:00.001-07:00

The environment? Nope.

Communities? Nope.

A made-up innocent golden era before such nasty things as civil rights came along? Yup.

Palin supporters hold mass "Star Trek" burning events.

2009-07-30T14:41:00.001-07:00

Enraged Sarah Palin supporters are holding rallies in which they are burning their "Star Trek" related items in large bonfires. The rallies come as a response to a series of appearances by "Star Trek" star William Shatner on "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien" in which the actor parodied the former Alaska governor by putting her words to music.

Enraged right-wingers have vowed to end their association with "Star Trek" as a result. "This episode by Shatner confirmed to me that 'Star Trek' is just more far-left liberal propaganda from the New World Order cabal," said one woman at a "James T-party".

Is Stephen Hawking leading a double life?

2009-07-30T14:36:00.000-07:00

Officially scientist Stephen Hawking is disabled...

But as the above pictures show, there is clearly something we aren't being told...

Republicans tie healthcare reform to 9/11 attackers.

2009-07-30T01:03:00.000-07:00

In this article written exclusively for Newsifact, Republican House Minority leader John Boehner argues that the perpetrators of the 9/11 terrorist attacks may have been connected to the current Democratic players in the healthcare reform debate.

Public Option Players had Secret Meeting with 9/11 Hijacker in Prague

by John Boehner

Current proposals for a rigorous public-option to be introduced into the nation's healthcare system by a thankfully ever-smaller number of Democrats has one man laughing - Osama bin Laden. Back in 2001, high-level sources tell me, today's key Democrat advocates for so-called "Healthcare reform" met with Mohamed Atta, the main hijacker in the 9/11 terrorist attacks. The meeting took place in Prague. What could Atta have discussed with Democrat Congress members X,Y and Z? I have decided not to name the Democrats involved directly - I am sure their names will soon come to light.

Mohamed Atta

Did Atta perhaps tell them: "After my work is done, I want you to socialize the American healthcare system."? Why were these Democrats so silent after 9/11? Why are these same Democrats now pushing for so-called "healthcare reform"? Is this part of an Al-Qaeda plot to euthanize our elderly and weaken the rest of us? Have we been caught off guard?

There is yet more disturbing evidence. According to the completely independent and just created citizens' group "The Free Association for Freedom in Healthcare Freedom Reform" (The DemocRATS say it is a lobbyist funded front group - they are lying) there is evidence that the DemocRATS are trying to secretly introduce the healthcare system of Niger, Africa into the United States. The FAFHFR has evidence that the same top DemocRATS that went to Prague to meet with 9/11 hijacker Mohamed Atta then flew to Niger in Africa. There, they tried to acquire "Yellow-Flake" a handbook written by Al-Qaeda on how to undermine nations through "healthcare reform".

Prague

There is yet more. We have evidence that DemocRATS plan to shift hospitals to "mobile socialized hospitals" - little more than trucks - because under their plan, the government simply won't be able to afford hospitals anymore.

Dysfunctional mobile hospitals - the result of Democrat so-called "reforms"?

A top intelligence source also tells me that Al-Qaeda has provided the DemocRATS with aluminium tubes which can cheaply be converted into needles. These needles would then inject patients with a euthanizing drug. This is deeply disturbing. We cannot wait for nations like France to act.

Healthcare in Niger. Is this what the Democrats want?

The evidence is real. Believe me, these aren't so-called Republican "scare-tactics" - we only want what is best and cannot stand idly by as this evidence of an Al-Qaeda/Public-Option link comes to light. I urge you all to act and act soon. Don't let the smoking gun become an operating room shroud!

John Boehner (R) is a U.S. Representative of Ohio's 8th congressional district. He is also the House Minority Leader in the 111th Congress.

Has UK paper gone too far?

2009-07-28T10:29:00.001-07:00

The British newspaper "The Sun" is refusing to apologise after publishing semi-naked pictures of former Vice-President Al Gore. Mr Gore's office has called the decision to publish the paparazzi pictures taken during a recent vacation as "unfortunate".

Sarah Palin gives a major and historic speech on agriculture and the economy.

2009-07-27T02:07:00.000-07:00

People that Star Trek actress Gates McFadden can't marry...

2009-07-26T10:02:00.000-07:00

Bill Gates...

Bob Gates...

Henry Louis Gates...

(Because she'd be Gates Gates)

She also can't marry (via gay marriage) Glenn Close otherwise she'd be Gates Close.

Nor can she marry Commerce Secretary Gary Locke or she'd be Gates Locke...

Why do so many American conservatives look like angry former slave-owners?

2009-07-24T03:43:00.000-07:00

Is there such a thing as historical memory? Why do so many American conservatives look like what they are really angry/terrified about is that they lost the Civil War and aren't allowed to keep slaves anymore? "These people are going to come and get us!!" Is this experience buried in their genes? Anger, hysteria, paranoia...RAGE!!!

This is how conservatives used to express their entirely hypocritical and cowardly anger. But then "Washington" took their slaves away. Fortunately, conservatives soon got Jim Crow and segregation and also..."Bang!"... shot the president that had won the war for the Union (the same year, they also formed the Ku Klux Klan).

Decades later, a "liberal bleeding heart" called Roosevelt changed the former system of unregulated greed, which had led to the Great Depression, to create a more equitable and egalitarian economic system. Cleverly, he was also countering and muting Soviet propaganda about what capitalism was really like. Yet, all paranoid conservatives saw was an expansion of government and their taxes being given to "welfare mom" types - perhaps for "stealth reparations".

Then an "activist Supreme Court" intergrated schools, backed up with National Guard troops, ie the "Federal government". When would this humiliation of conservatives by their own government end? Even poor Joe McCarthy had lost his power to induce a permanent paranoia in America.

The "Little Rock Nine"

By the 1960s, a young president was determined to get rid of segregation. "Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!" (or "Bang! Bang! Bang!" if you believe the official version that a lone communist sympathizer did it - but "sssh!" honest investigations could cause World War III!). Anyway "Bang!" soon became the new "Whip!" (as in whipping the slave - see above picture). And if conservatives couldn't have slaves, at least they were going to have their guns. This is how Michael Moore put it in the film "Bowling for Columbine".

The next guy passed the Civil Rights Act anyway - Republicans and Democrats sort of swapped places after that. Now conservatives were really, really mad! "Bang!" the black Civil Rights leader was dead. "Bang!" the former president's brother was dead. Thankfully, for the next decade or so, the "whip/bang lust permanent war" was transferred overseas: Vietnam...

The communists gave conservatives a new (and justifaible) target, but instead they just managed to screw up their moral credibility by acting almost as dirty as the other side (sound familiar?).

A few decades later "Bang!" a federal building in Oklahoma was bombed and 168 people were dead. Compared with the prior evacutaion warnings and pathetic pipe-bombs of 60s left-wing radicals like the "Weather Underground" this attack was big-time!

The pent up and angry perpetrators of the Oklahoma City bombings were protesting against the "Feds".

Suddenly, there was a new "whip/bang lust permanent war" to keep conservatives unclogged.

But it was not going so well and all those tax cuts for the rich and deregulation that promised to create a "neoconservative paradise" on earth weren't working so well. And then this black guy got elected. He was actually going to do some smart things to defeat extremists overseas instead of just feeding them propaganda victories and try to fix the economy. "Traitor! What do you mean torture is suddenly torture? Socialist! What do you mean you need to invest in the country in order to keep it economically viable?"

Is Glenn Beck sub-consciously re-living the "painful loss" for "states' rights" following the Confederacy's defeat in the Civil War?

Somebody get these conservative people a blanket! They are really in total shock. This guy is going to come and get their guns and then get them!!! "Thank God his birth certificate is faked, he was only elected thanks to ACORN fraud and his secret socialist/Muslim agenda will soon be exposed. I mean the guy is black, how could he possibly not be trying to sabotage America? After all, we are filled with bitter rage, so the black guy must be too - against us!"

"At least we still have our guns, secessionist ramblings, code-words, talk radio, Fox News - and lots and lots and lots of pent up anger and ignorance. But we need outlets or we may just explode!!"

So next time you see blind, white-hot, pyschotic and hysterical rage like that recently demonstrated by Glenn Beck...maybe it can be explained as historical memory (imagine Beck whipping a slave into submission) raging its ugly head, the same way it does in every other country on earth - Iran and outside intervention, Israel and pathalogical persecution of Palestinians under the guise of victimhood, Russia's historical self-denial and inferiority complex, North Korea's existence as a historical Stalinist abberation, China's humiliation under Japan, etc. etc...There will always be those who fear inward examaniation believing it to be a sign of weakness.

Fundamentalist conservatives simply can't win fair debates. So instead they distort, attack, discredit or muddy the message of the opposition - as was recently demonstrated in Iran. If that doesn't work: "Bang!"

Sadly, today's hardcore American conservatives have evidently learnt nothing, even after their ideal neocon president (Mr Mis-underestimate) along with shadow-man (Darth Vader) almost brought the entire country to its knees. That part is the hypocrisy of the whip...

Simon Cowell singing attempt ends in severe blushing.

2009-07-24T01:08:00.000-07:00

Shy Cowell blushes before the cameras.

An attempt by Simon Cowell to move from critiquing other performers' singing abilities on shows like American Idol to singing himself ended in farce Wednesday after the embarrassed singer succumbed to a bout of crippling stage-fright. Cowell choked up and began to blush really, really badly. His singing attempt was by all accounts a complete disaster..."I'm so sorry," he said afterwards "I just got really, really shy. I'm not usually like that."

Bread reluctant to be toasted...

2009-07-23T10:18:00.001-07:00

"Look, I've been burned really badly before..."

Liz Cheney applauds killing of Bin Laden's son.

2009-07-23T00:54:00.000-07:00

Liz Cheney, daughter of former Vice-President Dick Cheney has applauded the news that Osama bin Laden's son Saad has apparently been killed. Saad is believed to have been a very minor player in the terrorist organization al-Qaeda, but in an interview with Fox News, Cheney said that his guilt was clear: "He supported the illegal and amoral actions of his father, and in my mind that makes him just as guilty."